I can do this, somehow I know it
I'll get Heaven behind my plans
Charlie, hold on
There's just no way I could blow it
Not this once-in-a-lifetime chance
It's just a meeting
To change their minds and touch their hearts
Or whatever angels have
This could be bad
Cheer up, Vaggie
This could be swell
Something tells me that today will be a happy day in Hell
Okay, but just don't sing to them
That bitch is halfway down the street
Is she-?
Oh, she's dancin'
Ugh, no
There's a warm, fuzzy feeling that wafts through the air
Every street so revealing, it's hard not to stare
It's a realm so appealing, it beats anywhere
If you don't mind the smell
It's a happy day in Hell
Hi, mister!
Go fuck yourself!
There's an endless trash fire that's burning my soul
Hello!
Got a ton of barbed wire to shove in his hole
Ah, excuse me!
Doing what is required, we all have our role
I'm not doing well
Another shitty day in Hell
If I can show them the dream I've dreamed
That any soul can change
Those angels' minds are hard to change
Then they will know everyone can be redeemed
From the evil to the strange
They're bloodthirsty and deranged!
I can hear all their stories, the lost and displaced
And I know that they're more of an acquired taste
But if I open the door and I give them a place
At my Hazbin Hotel
It'll be a happy day in Hell
From the porn studio, where the cinephiles go
To watch award-winning demon bukkake shows
To the Cannibal Town, where they don't wear a frown
'Cause holy shit, oh my gosh, why?!
And I don't give a crow that his brains got in my eye!
'Cause I know I can spare them from Heaven's genocide
I can do this, I just know it (there's an endless trash fire that's burning my soul)
I'll get Heaven behind my plans
There's just no way I could blow it (I kinda like the barbed wire that's shoved in my hole)
Not this once-in-a-lifetime chance to change their minds
And touch my parts
Uh, no thank you, I'm just gonna
Fulfill my destiny!
Your loss, bitch
I can already tell
Today is gonna be a fuckin' happy day in Hell